The Anger Monkeys and The Pigeons of Depression

So in the movie Anger Management a character yells something about the "Anger Monkeys" overtaking him. This is one of my favorite scenes; interestingly enough it also is my Boss' favorite scene. Somewhat daily I hear him gripe "the Anger monkeys are overtaking me!"

The Anger Monkeys are overtaking me. Also the Depression Pigeon Crew and the Lobster of Self Doubt. I plan to animate these someday for a complete visual aid.

When things go good in my life, they almost immediately go shitty afterward. I meet someone, they seem great, and soon there is this awkward strange silence where we don't speak. I hate this more than anything. Honestly, I want to be back on the phone again talking for 4 hours, or lounging around naked. Its much more fun than talking to the Lobster of Self-Doubt as it clacks it claws and giggles. The Lobster hangs out out, nipping at my ankles and tells me I'm getting fat. It also informs me that I can't possibly be desirable to a functional human being.

The Depression Pigeon crew follows shortly after. They coo and shit everywhere, taking over where the Lobster has left off. They tell me stories about how this one time, everything really did go to shit and how it's going to do it again.

When I don't think I can take it anymore, the Anger Monkeys come in, camp out and enrage me to the point where I'm about read to shatter my phone against a concrete floor, just for the hell of it.

I write in run ons. Grammar is completely ignored for the premise of anger. I write nothing and it means everything.

And all it took was the realization that in three weeks, I probably won't be the girl he's reaching out for.